Here in lies the rub (or to blog or not to blog)

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Yikes!  Twice in one day….how do I find the time.  That is really a question for the ages.

I am a stay at home mom and have been for the last 10 years.  I have moved several times and in the moves have had to rid myself of (not one but) two pianos. (my instrument of choice)  I live in a house that is busting at the seems….I mean that literally!  We have just recently entered the uncharted waters of home schooling my oldest son and I still have a 4 year old at home.  I do not have a dish washer (unless you consider both my husband and I) nor do I have a washer and dryer on the premises.  I do have to say however, that I do have a lovely neighbor that lets me use hers but that usually means weekends are out and rainy days can be quite difficult and let’s face it, I cannot do laundry late at night when I would like to.  I am currently looking for someone to watch my kids tonight because my husband is working very late and I have a meeting to attend at my daughter’s(2 of them) school.  I happen to be one of the main agenda items as I have recently become the coordinator for the box tops for education program.  Now……

Go be creative!  Find a quiet place and write a song that is both deep and meaningful.  You have 20 minutes.  Huh?  You must be crazy!  “Move that pile of laundry over , park yourself, and write a hit!”  Those muscles are so weak.  My heart, at times, is too full quite frankly to zero in on the meaning of life or some small aspect worthy of song.  I can’t concentrate when someone is knocking on the door or live with the guilt of going somewhere else and leaving my husband to go it solo.  He does tell me to and that he doesn’t mind AND I know that he is totally capable and yet it is as if I am hard wired to feel guilty and nothing can change that.  No CD can be made until the songs are written and writing is free (see previous post) so it seems like a no brainer right?   Write!  but here I sit.

I can find time to blog and it really does flow right out of me so where are the songs?  Where are those words that will heal my own wounds and speak to others?   Where are the songs that will help me explore my own life and make others think about theirs? (is this starting to sound like a Barry Manilow song?)  Are they somewhere under that pile of laundry? (definitely not a “Barry” thought)  Why can’t a write a song?

To really be honest with you, there are two songs almost finished which really inspired me to take on the project.  The key words there are “almost finished”  They still need some tweeking and arranging.  I can hear them finished in my head and that is a good thing.  I think it will take some studio time for me to really feel like they are complete and I am o.k. with that but really….two songs do not  a CD make.  I’ll get there but maybe I will do some laundry first and take my daughter to book club today, find a baby sitter and start new tomorrow.   Thanks for stopping by.

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One response »

  1. Sometimes you won’t be able to get it all done, of course. But every day is a new day, and there will be many when you will find a few minutes, maybe more. It gets easier as they get older. Homeschooling huh? It’s awesome- love, love, love it. But it’s a lot of work, and you will have less alone time than you thought you didn’t have before (?!). Still, worth it.
    And that laundry? It always wins.
    BUT, your kids are happy and healthy, and your husband loves you. Barry Manilow has neither of those gifts…keep that in mind. 🙂 He can write the songs that make the whole world sing (yeah, I know “I” in that song was actually “Music”, but I couldn’t resist). But you can write the songs that tired, loving moms and happy, secure wives will totally get.
    You’ll work through it and get those juices flowing- I have no doubt.

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