Letting Go

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I am learning that things don’t always go as planned.   Isn’t that funny, at this age and with my history one would think that I learned that long ago.  What’s so great about stability any way.   I think the challenge really comes in when what you would like or expect is vastly different from the things you actually wind up with.  I think it was Wayne Dryer (sp?)who I heard say “be open to everything and expect nothing.”   I like the idea of that but as a parent it is really hard.  Learning to go with the flow and allow your kids the freedom of expression and finding their own path is sometimes hard.  Accepting what they and who they are is sometimes hard.  Of course you still love them but sometimes I find myself grieving a bit, when they choose something I did not expect.

Go with the flow has not exactly been easy for me but I am learning everyday that it doesn’t pay to lay out your own agenda when the world is not exactly following your rules.  As a family I think, sometimes we are crazy rule followers.  Not to say we follow crazy rules mind you but that we are not very good at moving outside the box and yet we are hard wired to be creative thinkers and so it always feels as though we are swimming up stream.    It may not seem to make sense but this is how I see it…..it’s that we have these great ideas that sometimes seem out of this world and because we don’t like to make waves or maybe we want everyone to be happy those ideas get squelched a bit.  We are also control freaks so it is easier to let the whole idea go then  to compromise or allow someone else’s ideas to infiltrate are own.   I believe they call that cutting off you nose to spite your face.  (is that right?)  Crazy huh?

O.k. so now we can identify it but the next step is even harder.  Let it go!  Be open to change and see where it leads.  Stick to your guns but be ready to bend.  No man is an island and no 10 things brought with us is going to make a deserted island any less deserted.  People who need people are the luckiest people blah blah blah.  You get the picture….maybe you don’t.  I think I am even confusing myself.  I guess what it really means is that we have to learn how to balance it all.  Be open to everything and  still be true to  yourself.  Stay connected but don’t hold on to tight.  Bend and lean when the wind is blowing.  Take the bus when your car breaks down for the 100th time.  Make lemonade and all that.  So to live in the moment even if the moment seems to really suck, means finding the silver lining and keeping your eyes on all that is good.  Ignore all the other stuff or learn from it?

I’ll stop now.  This one is just too hard.  I am sick today and you deserve a healthy blogger.  I am off to have some tea.  I invite you to join me.  Thanks for stopping by.

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