My 10 year old is reading an excerpt from the Diary of Anne Frank. He is not ready. Even if it is just an excerpt, he is a smart boy and asks really thoughtful questions……I am not ready. He is a sensitive guy and will worry about it for weeks on end. How can people be so evil? Why didn’t God save them? Way too deep for 10. I don’t have any answers for him. I can’t even watch the movies they’ve made about it because it is too overwhelming for me.
He tries to say that it happened so long ago it doesn’t matter anymore but I know that is his way of dealing. He talks to himself in his room trying to convince himself that it is just a fact of life and we all have to learn to move on. That all makes sense to him right now but…..when he lays down at night he cries because he feels like he is doing something wrong. He struggles with such heavy, grown up issues. I am trying to stay ahead of him and protect him but the reality is that it is part of who he is. Therapy? You bet …….for both of us. We are trying to learn how to walk through this as easily as possible. I don’t want his life to be so hard but his journey is his own and I can only walk beside him and hold his hand if he asks me to. Parenting is really hard. Why doesn’t anyone tell you that?
Life is good most of the time, even when it’s hard, it’s still good. I need to remember to go out and play sometimes and hope that he follows my lead. Life is full of fun and laughs and we just have to jump in sometimes and leave the heavy stuff on the shelf for a bit. Easier said then done for some of us but I know that people respond to what we do more than what we say. I am going to do something really fun that makes me laugh today. I hope you can do the same.