Today I am weary. Living in ones own head can really wear a person out. I would describe myself as creative, passionate and sometimes even dynamic…… and then I start second guessing myself. I try to make decisions in spite of my fear and do what I think is right and then spend the rest of the time wondering if it was. I try to follow my heart but tend to give in at the first sign of anyone’s hesitation. I have decided this time to stick with it ….or maybe not. Maybe my fear is well founded and I should listen to that cautious voice in the back of my head…….I think I am going a bit mad.
Time is not my friend. I am much better at diving in and going for it. If given time to ponder I worry myself into a state of inactivity. I have always thought it best to just dive into the pool no matter how cold you think the water might be. Getting in a little at a time is too painful. Go for the gusto right? My brother always says “sometimes it’s easier to get forgiveness than permission.” I think he is right about that. People are quick to forgive a mistake or a decision made in haste but they won’t always get behind an idea that is out of their comfort zone. It’s easy to say that it wont work rather than take a risk.
I try really hard to be in touch with the Spirit and I believe in miracles and signs even when the rest of the world doesn’t. I have had too many miracles in my own life to not believe that they happen everyday.
So for now I will trudge through and keep moving forward and try not to think about it too much. God is good all the time! even if we don’t always think so.