A small change

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Well my return to performing didn’t go over quite as well as I wanted it to.   I think the problem is that I am a professional in my head but not in real life.   I have forgotten how hard performing is.   It’s so much more than just singing the songs.   I am definitely not where I want to be in terms of any stage presence.   I know I have it in me but it just wasn’t there on Friday night.   It was kind of a weird space as it was in my back yard and although I definitely created the ambiance I wanted, it fell a bit short for me.   I think I didn’t market it very well.   It turned into more of a family get together which usually involves a lot of good food and lots of socializing.   Don’t get me wrong,  I love that too.   I was pleased with the opportunity to talk about my dad for awhile and sing some new songs but I wanted it to be more like a club feel where people were really there to hear the music.

Now I know that most of the people reading this are in my family and this is not meant to offend.   My family showed up and supported me when I needed it and that is the best of us.   We can really pull it together at a moments notice for anyone in the crew.   We are really good at that . Talk about silver linings!    But I  was also hoping to  reclaim  some sort of career for myself.   I have always wanted to say something with my music that might actually affect people in the ways that music has affected me.    In some cases music has made a real change in me and the way I see the world.   I want to do that too.    Maybe that happened in a way because I did raise some money and it is going to fight Alzheimer’s and support those families that have been affected by it.   So I guess in retrospect,   I did make some small change for someone in the world and it might be someone who wasn’t even present.

As for the music part of it….I have some work to do and will continue to do it.    I am now talking to the powers that be and trying to find my way into the studio.   It is an amazing space and I am so excited to get in and get working.   Wish me luck.

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One response »

  1. While it might not have been what you dreamed it to be, I have to say that I really enjoyed the new songs you presented. Some had a familiar feel, while others were totally new. Both are welcome in my ears! I do think there’s something about being outdoors that will always take away the club feel you sought … to say nothing of being distracted by adorable children (in costume, no less!). Keep moving forward … you’re definitely fueled for good things to come.

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