Well….the summer is slowly coming to an end …. and I do mean slowly. I now know that cabin fever is a real disease and we are all suffering from a severe case. We have run dry of just about everything i.e. glue, markers, playdough, patience, any motivation to do anything but say “I’m bored” We have rearranged furniture, made jello and lemonade pie, played a ton of music and video games and thrown in a few trips to the pool but we are done with summer!
In between the interruptions (about 1 per every 5 minutes) I have managed to start work on a few new songs. It is really hard to do anything for more than 10 minutes at a time which does not bode well for song writing. I have found, that as of late, I don’t even sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time, waking up constantly during the night. This also…..not so good for the creative process. I know that I am standing on the precipice of a new chapter of my life (number 4 is off to school) and I believe the dark abyss has me a little stressed. I know that it is a little like coming to the surface after the long deep dive of mother hood but it also feels like a trip into the unknown. It isn’t like going back to what my life was like before I had kids because my life is not my own like it was then. I feel the weight, whether perceived or real, of expectation from many different sources. Don’t get me wrong……I count myself among those sources. The possibilities are endless and my biggest excuse is gone from 7:30 to 2:45. What now? My fear is that with all this time on my hands, and all these things I want to get done, I will not know where to start and stand still or fall into old comfortable habits. I suppose only time will tell but the anticipation may just kill me. Maybe I’ll blog more?