So I am heading into the New Year with out a CD. I really thought I would be in a very different place at this point but am pretty much in the same place I was last year. Perhaps that isn’t really true. I suppose the change is that I am not throwing in the towel. I am moving into the new year with a renewed sense of purpose. I will make this CD but I will stop putting a time line on it. I won’t focus so much on the finished product but all that the process has to offer.
I have recently been having long talks with number one regarding performing. He brought back a lot of talks I had with myself so long ago. He is chomping at the bit to go out and start doing open mics and such in hopes of getting a “real gig”. He hasn’t really finished writing his songs and he is rushing headlong into performance. (did I mention is weeks away from his 12th birthday?) It isn’t an isolated incident where he is concerned…. or me for that matter. We spend so much time longing to be somewhere else we miss where we are in the moment. I find myself grieving what I haven’t lost and being disappointed about things that haven’t even happened. Perhaps we carry a bit of the negativity gene but I refuse to give into it.
I found myself telling him things last night that I so desperately needed to hear myself. If you set out to do music for any reason other than the journey you are destined to become disillusioned and depressed. Do what you love because you love it. Don’t push so hard and move so fast that you lose what is real in the moment.
Number one has inspired me to try and get out to play. It might just be an open mic but it could be more. I think it would be good for me right now if for no other reason than to follow through on a commitment to myself. I encourage you to keep your own promises to yourself……. not always an easy task…… but well worth it.