Take A Walk On The Wild Side


Well…….as you can see I changed my border yet again.  It’s so great because you just click a  button and you can change your surroundings.  I wish  they had a button like this in real life.  I have been wanting to change my real surroundings for sometime but that costs money that I don’t have and it takes time and I don’t seem to ever have enough of that either.  I change what I can.   The colors match my emotions at the time.  Bright and  colorful and dare I say it……a little wild.

I recently did something that was kind of huge, well, for me anyway.  I self promoted (insert applause) (yay me!)   I invited myself to play a few new songs  at a fund raiser for my kids school.  They said yes.  I think they are too kind to say no and are a little nervous about what they said yes to.  They have heard me before but not really “me” .  I have more than one voice.  Let  me explain.

When I sing at church, when I sing with the kids, when I sing to embarrass my children, all different voices.  When I sing for myself, in the shower or in the car, that is  when I am at my best.  When  I  used to perform around town I had a voice but I’m not sure it was really mine yet.  I have found in the recent past that I have really discovered  my “voice”  They have not heard that side of me and  they said yes, sight unseen, as it were.

Here’s the real kicker……..I am auctioning myself off.  I have offered a free house concert to the lucky winning bid.  I here tell there are going to be a few celebs present at the event and I am auctioning myself off.  It is strangely  exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.  I think this is how people must feel when they are about to jump out of a plane though I myself have never had the desire to do such a crazy thing.  One fear  rolling around in my head  “what if no one bids?”  That seems pretty obvious but another, less obvious  fear, “what if they don’t like what I do?”  I have been racking my brains to think of what songs to perform.  It is going to be a pretty hip crowd and I do not think of myself as “hip”.  At 45 (weeks  away from 46) can I still pull off hip?  I have found my voice but do I have an “image”  I am quite comfortable being a slightly over weight mother of four and church cantor but do I have a “hip” bone in my body.  Do grey roots in my hair constitute “hip”.    I think not.  What if I shave my head?  Could I pull that  off?  No answers, just questions.  For now I guess I will just focus on the music because I think it’s good.  I hope they bid. I hope they bid. I hope they bid. (insert clicking of heels.)



2 responses »

  1. my advice (to calm the fear of no bidders): plant people in the audience. get people who know and love you to pool their funds and start the bidding off. what’s the worst that can happen then? the school gets the money, you get the exposure (and the experience– process over product), and you get to play a house show to people who know and love you.

    by the way, love this theme!

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