Well…….as you can see I changed my border yet again. It’s so great because you just click a button and you can change your surroundings. I wish they had a button like this in real life. I have been wanting to change my real surroundings for sometime but that costs money that I don’t have and it takes time and I don’t seem to ever have enough of that either. I change what I can. The colors match my emotions at the time. Bright and colorful and dare I say it……a little wild.
I recently did something that was kind of huge, well, for me anyway. I self promoted (insert applause) (yay me!) I invited myself to play a few new songs at a fund raiser for my kids school. They said yes. I think they are too kind to say no and are a little nervous about what they said yes to. They have heard me before but not really “me” . I have more than one voice. Let me explain.
When I sing at church, when I sing with the kids, when I sing to embarrass my children, all different voices. When I sing for myself, in the shower or in the car, that is when I am at my best. When I used to perform around town I had a voice but I’m not sure it was really mine yet. I have found in the recent past that I have really discovered my “voice” They have not heard that side of me and they said yes, sight unseen, as it were.
Here’s the real kicker……..I am auctioning myself off. I have offered a free house concert to the lucky winning bid. I here tell there are going to be a few celebs present at the event and I am auctioning myself off. It is strangely exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I think this is how people must feel when they are about to jump out of a plane though I myself have never had the desire to do such a crazy thing. One fear rolling around in my head “what if no one bids?” That seems pretty obvious but another, less obvious fear, “what if they don’t like what I do?” I have been racking my brains to think of what songs to perform. It is going to be a pretty hip crowd and I do not think of myself as “hip”. At 45 (weeks away from 46) can I still pull off hip? I have found my voice but do I have an “image” I am quite comfortable being a slightly over weight mother of four and church cantor but do I have a “hip” bone in my body. Do grey roots in my hair constitute “hip”. I think not. What if I shave my head? Could I pull that off? No answers, just questions. For now I guess I will just focus on the music because I think it’s good. I hope they bid. I hope they bid. I hope they bid. (insert clicking of heels.)