My trips up the mountain have proven to be quite powerful and really helpful in a practical way. I have waited for so long to actually write something of fact about making a C D and up to this point it has all felt a little less than tangible. I have written of my fears and the many turns my life has taken. Truly, aside from an evening spent in the studio almost two years ago, I haven’t done anything that would indicate that I was really very serious about getting it done……until today!
As I wrote in my previous post, I have been walking up my little mountain for a few weeks now. In so many ways it has paralleled my uphill battle with myself and my path to a finished CD. I know and have known for some time that I was really standing in my own way. I have looked at it over and over again trying to figure out what it was that was stopping me. I have made the excuses and then over analyzed my reasons for making excuses. I have done so much self analysis and other than perhaps prompting me from time to time, to pick up my guitar, it hasn’t produced much activity. Recently, on my way up my mountain, I realized that none of it mattered. No excuses, no fear, just get it done.
Today was the perfect day for such realizations. Normally I would have been teaching today but because the students had an early dismissal, music class was cancelled. I chose to see this as an opportunity to squeeze in one more walk this week. I knew there was a chance that it might rain but it wasn’t when I left so I decided to walk. Lesson number one….you have no control over the future so live in the moment and decide what is best in the moment. As was just into my walk, the slow accent, when it started to sprinkle. There was a moment where I thought about cutting it short and turning back but it was just a sprinkle and I was under the cover of some pretty massive trees and then I saw a tiny red breasted bird taking refuge in the outstretched natural umbrella and I decided to keep going. Lesson number two…..you are never walking alone and you are ultimately taken care of. A little aside here, birds, especially of the small variety like sparrows, are always a sign of my dad’s presence with me, the impetus for my making the CD in the first place. As I came to the next part of my walk, where the tree cover ends, it stopped raining. Lesson number three, faith is always rewarded with assured comfort. I didn’t know it then but the best lesson was yet to come……
I was just reaching the crest of the mountain when I heard the most terrifying sounds. There are always groups of people out with their dogs coming and going from the many hiking paths that wind their way through Griffith Park and I heard what I thought to be an animal in great distress. It was a high pitched bark/howling sort of a sound. I saw someone quickly move their own dog into the back of their truck and move slowly back towards the shrubs where the sound was coming from. I thought perhaps they had another dog with them that had been injured and they were heading back to rescue it. As I got a closer look I realized it was a coyote. It looked right at me. My worst fear about my walk each morning was realized. I never want to run into wild life! I just barely tolerate the squirrels and only if they keep their distance. This was no small animal and it sounded really aggressive. I had never heard anything like it. As I continued to walk, keeping my eye on it and he, on all the human life around him, he stopped yelping and quietly disappeared up into the hills. I knew then that it was a gift. Lesson number three…..do not get stuck in fear. Acknowledge it and keep on moving…..be brave and finish what you started. So what does this all mean in a practical way you might be asking???
I called a friend who I had been thinking about over these last two years. She is a musician whom I have great respect for and have had the great privilege to work with. She has done several CD’s of her own and had lots of success. She knows me very well and loves my music. She knows my strengths and my fears very well. I called her today and asked her to come on board and produce this CD for me. She has agreed! She is on board and ready to help me bring it to fruition. For now we have a plan to get together so she can hear the songs and we can talk about where to go next. I know she will be a huge asset and that I will have my CD soon and hopefully you will have it as well. Today was a good day!