Well phase one is under way. I have been up loading a few videos to test the waters. So far it’s been a good response. Of course it is family and friends and I’m not sure they would say anything remotely bad. What I did find promising was that they were’nt shy about sharing it with their friends. Again, it isn’t too astonishing because they are family but it will be interesting to see if their friends have anything to say.
Something odd has come up however and I am writing it down. Mostly I want to chronicle everything that happens in this process, but also because writing of any kind usually serves as a tool just to sort things out. It is a concrete way for me to self examine, self analyze and hopefully come to some sort of understanding about the crazy thoughts that roll around in my brain. I think, right now, I am missing some criticism. I am really really self critical but what I really want is criticisms from outside soures. Let me explain….
If all you hear are positive statements don’t you start to become skeptical? Is that just me. I want to grow and be better so give me something to work on or challenge my position. Really, I guess I don’t “want” it but I think I need it. Sometimes it makes me reaffirm my own choices. I hate (and I mean it makes me physically ill) confrontation of any kind. If you critisize a choice I’ve made, I am likely to change it. I do have rare moments where I stand up for myself and my choices and then I feel certain of what I’ve chosen. It sometimes takes the challenge for me to be sure it is right for me. Sometimes things don’t end up the way I thought they would but, in those instances, I walk away feeling very satisfied and self assured. Does that make any sense? Well I’m not telling you to nit pick but just be honest and give me something to think about. I know I’m not perfect.