Isn’t it so true that there is always two sides to the coin, or perhaps the grass is always greener on the other side and the tried and true, nothing’s perfect. The CD recording process has been stalled now for some weeks, hopefully to pick up again sometime around the 15th. My life and the life of the guy I’m working with are certainly not in sync and at the moment it seems impossible to make it a priority. We both have bills to pay and kids. We both have other lives that require so much attention. Even with the best of intentions it is quite dysfunctional. I am hoping we will get back into some sort of groove but none of those other factors are going to change in the near future so I am left feeling a little hopeless.
So, “what is the other side of the coin saying?” You might be thinking or “where is this green grass of which you speak?” Let me start here……some time ago I decided that I didn’t really want the limelight of the music business. I didn’t want a record company that would require a lot of travel and gigs to promote myself and their interests. It didn’t fit in with the family side of my life. I didn’t want someone breathing down my neck and making decisions for me. I certainly did not want anyone telling me what they wanted from me creatively. I wanted my autonomy and my creative control. I really was happy with the idea of writing for other people, maybe some film and TV placement and to gig when ever I felt like it. I was really clear about what I wanted. Then this little project started burning a hole in my brain. I wanted to record these songs. For two years or so I stayed stuck in the “I don’t have the money” mode. Certainly a record label would have come in handy there! Of course that would have come with all the perverbial strings attached. So along came Kickstarter and helped me solve that problem. Now I am stuck in the “I have to do this by myself” mode. It’s all on me and my time is so taken up with trying to organize my life in such a way as to get this done without inconveniencing anyone else. Yet another problem that would, at least seemingly, be fixed by having a record company behind me. Booking studio time would be on their end. Everyone on the project would be “on the project” what I might lose in that game is the freedom to call the shots, to record what and how and when I want or even can in some cases. I would risk losing the ability to work with gracious generous people who still see music as a spiritual expression as well as being able to delicately traipse around the “business” side of things. Ugh!
So what do I do now? I guess patience and I will have to learn how to keep company. Perhaps another cup of coffee and a deep breath are in order. I will continue to focus on booking gigs so that at the very least you all will be able to keep me and my music company while we wait. It’s more fun to wait with friends around who help you keep your chin up and carry on. Thanks for that!