It has been a really strange time for me of late. I have been going through some sort of transformation inside and out. I have been on a weight loss program for the past 14 weeks and it has been a bit of a roller coaster but a strange thing has been happening as I have been shedding pounds. It is funny how the physical can impact the spiritual. It is almost as if the layers are being peeled back and the stuff on the inside is being exposed. It is difficult at best, but I know that it is ultimately for the good and the stuff of some really great songs! Everything is worth it if I can get a song out of it right?
Self exposure and the resulting examinations leave me feeling a bit raw and, I have to admit, a bit cranky. You could ask my kids right now and they could give you chapter and verse on that one. It is always eye opening when my kids, in response to some correction for bad behavior say “well Mom did it” or “Mom says it” I don’t know why I ever thought that, as an adult, I had the freedom to accept my short comings and stop trying to be a better person. I know that isn’t true but I resent the little mirrors they hold up to me and my resulting response (internal) “I don’t have to be perfect and I will change if and when I want to!” Sounds a little childish right? Parenting is hard! (that one comes with “whine” and cheese) God bless them for making me a better person….now if I could only surrender………the journey continues.
In The Trenches 